maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -arthur miller


Last Lab

You haven't really hated your life until you've spent four hours sitting across a lab bench from a girl trying to flirt with a guy named Alfonso. Seriously. If I have to hear "Oh, Alfonso, will you check my calculations? " or "I'm so bad at this stuff...How did you get so good at pipetting, Alfonso? "

COME ON. In this day and age, at one of the best liberal arts schools in the country, must we really pretend to be bad at streaking petri dishes to attract a man?

Poor Alfonso had, like, negative interest in this girl no matter how much she threw herself at him. I guess she gets a few points for going after what she wanted, but then loses all of those plus some for being such an idiot. On the up side, my (very very good looking) lab partner bonded over what a fool she was.

Bio 101...not exactly a meat market, no matter how hard you try. So let's all try a little less, mmmmkay?


Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I came home this weekend for two reasons: to eat turkey, and to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Now, I'm not one of those crazy Harry Potter people who think the books really are for adults and are just so magical and OH MY GOD YOU HAVEN'T READ THEM? HOW DO YOU LIVE?

That's not me. I practically had to be tied down to read the first one, and then read 2-5 when my boss at my summer job was aghast that I dare work with children without having read HP cover to cover. So she lent me one book each week until I was caught up, and then she lent me the latest this summer. (She, without a doubt, falls into the above category. They're good people, but...misguided, a little.)

Despite initial reluctance, at this point I have to say that I'm sucked in. And the latest movie was really, really satisfying. Did it cut out parts of the book? God, yes. The book was like 600 pages long. My brother wasn't thrilled with how they cut it down, but I thought it was well done. Like, you don't get all of the Ministry of Magic stuff from the book, but HOW GEEKY CAN YOU BE to complain that you didn't get enough of the Cornelius Fudge/Bartemius Crouch dynamic.

So yes. I liked it. It's a little like watching Star Wars, in that the special effects are completely astounding and the acting is kinda lacking. That said, it is MUCH better written than most of the Star Wars movies, and had at least a few moments of real honesty. Sure, it's a movie about wizards and dragons and all of that, but the moment where a fourteen year old boy finally realizes that his best friend is, like, an actual girl, or the conversation where the Hermione asks Ron and Harry to write to her during the summer, and they're teasing each other in that way that best friends do when they know each other so well they can't even try to BS each other...those moments really worked for me, and they grounded the movie to a place where you almost believed it was real.

And then there was evil, evil, Ralph Fiennes. ohhhhhhh god, is he evil in this movie. As Voldemort, Fiennes is the epitome of sniveling, bald, noseless evil. The man is equally convincing as a Nazi, an amnesiac British soldier, and Wallace and Gromit's arch-nemesis (Dear Ralph, No more movies with J.Lo, please. I'm just looking out for you here.)

I really liked Hermione's wardrobe. Is that wrong?

Ron needs a haircut. My brother had some weird theory about the long hair hiding the fact that he's like seventeen now, but I think the poor kid just needs some good advice. Ron got fugged!

Overall? The latest Harry Potter is as magical as ever, and about twelve times scarier.


Absurd to the 104.7th

Krystle, Jen and I went to our local Chinese/Japanese place tonight for sushi and, more importantly, saki bombing. For the uninitiated, saki bombing consists of copius amounts of Sapporo beer, with sake balanced above on chopsticks and ceremoniously dumped in. And then you drink the Sapporo/Sake mixture. And you enjoy it.

So we're at the restaurant, enjoying our sushi. Our favorite waitress comes over and invites us to her birthday party, taking place like an hour and a half later at the restaurant. Three Sapporos and carafes of Sake later, we're sticking around for the Chinese extravaganza.

Turns out? The birthday party consists of like 18 Chinese people and like 35 dishes of weird food, including fried FROGS and steamed jellyfish, both of which Jen, Krystle, and I ate politely. Plus, they fed us SO MUCH beer. We were doing shots with Sushiman who "doesn't drink", and with the owner of the restaurant.

Still, highlight of the night was when Jennie at a frog's HEAD. blechhhh.

Fishballs, jellyfish bellies, pork sausage puree stuff, solid pig blood, shrimp eyes...the things I will eat for free beer. And a little love from Raymond the waiter, who barely speaks English.

It was a weird night.

Happy Birthday, waitress Sharon.

Sakeeeeeeee BOMB!

(ps. if i can figure out how to get pictures off my phone and on to my computer, there will be visual aids aplenty with this entry. We'll see.)


Lessons Learned This Week:

Just because I can read a 300-page book in one night doesn't mean I should read a 300-page book in one night, especially when a paper on same book is due the next morning.

Going to class is actually instrumental in passing exams, even if the class is boring. Physics 131 and I will be spending much more time together for the remainder of the semester.

Asking people if you can take their blood pressures is not a friend-maker. Even if it's just practice for EMT class. Especially if you're bad at it and end up squeezing their arms for minutes at a time.

Movies that you thought were really, really funny when you were nine are not necessarily actually really, really funny. Exhibit A: Death Becomes Her. Bruce Willis, Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, and dialogue like this:

Ernest Menville: Where did you say you put my wife?
Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest Meville: The morgue? She'll be FURIOUS!


Recipe for Disaster

-twelve (12) 20-ish college women, highly varying personality types
- one (1)rugby club for them to run
- eight (8) bottles of champagne (Andre brand ideal, any variety, only $3.50 a bottle (we're classy))
- chips, salsa, cheese, crackers, baby carrots...really any snack food.
- one handle of Jose Cuervo (1.75 Liters. Non-negotiable.)

- First, assign each girl a position of quesitionable authority. Watch them butt heads and develop minor grudges.
- let stew for eight (8) weeks (exact time can vary, certainly eight is enough. For better results, wait longer).
- add champagne, snack food. Mix well for at least one (1) hour.
- watch the most fantastic inter-personal meltdown any of us have ever seen ensue. Crying, screaming, running away, and attempts to take a swing at one another should all appear. Once a little bit of truth comes out, the explosion is over. Remnants should be found not only in original container, but also in nearby stairwells and bathrooms.
- Add tequila. Watch the girls hug and make proclomations of "a sisterhood".
- Add more tequila. Watch them vomit.

Make at your own risk.


Frivolity (is an interestingly conjugated word)

I had dinner the other night with an Israeli family friend who, at 22 years old, has just gotten out of the army. He regaled us with stories of sneaking off the base to a local bar, impromptu parties thrown with contraband liquor, college-age idiocy of all kinds with his squadron.

That was in between guard duty on the West Bank, of course.

Tonight I spent a few hours at the library writing about jurisprudence-building and enfranchisement during the two eras of American Reconstruction. On the way back to the dorm, I got to thinking about whether or not Jennifer Garner has had that baby yet, and whether she and Affleck named it Spearmint or Hazelnut or Pepsee Investigator (Teller (or Penn?) I'm looking at you) or, you know, JoeBob. And then I wondered if Brit-Brit and little Cheeto were wondering where deadbeat dad K-Fed was, and if they really cared.

You know what? In the long run, pretty much everything I thought about tonight--from the Civil War to fundraising for my team to Rupert Grint's truly unfortunate haircut--seems pretty frivolous when Raffi spent his 20th year manning a border checkpoint between Israel and Lebanon.


I <3 My Bed

I'm home this weekend in the City, going back up to school early tomorrow morning. I've been up all night writing a paper, and I realized a while ago that I haven't done any real work at home in like three years. Pretty weird, considering the hours I used to put in during high school. We'll see if the view of the Empire State Building helped inspire me.

I've spent most of the weekend eating in different places. Chinese on Friday night, Union Square Farmers Market Saturday lunch, sushi Saturday dinner, brunch today at my bro's first apartment, and my mom made dinner tonight. I was happy that I got to be there to be one of big bro's first houseguests. It really sucks sometimes that we live in different states...I feel like I'm missing all the fun stuff. Like, his girlfriend got to help him pick out furniture for his first apartment, and his little sister didn't. I wish I could have been a part of that.

But he knows me pretty well and didn't order photo prints to put up without me clearing them first. No pasty-face, messy-hair, zit-chinned photo of me, thankyouverymuch. Even if he's lookin' sharp. Hell, especially if he's lookin' sharp. I can still pull the sister veto on some things.

My mom fell asleep in the middle of the living room after dinner one night when all four of us were sitting around, watching tv, talking, whatever. She woke up a few minutes later.

"That's the best nap I've had in months," She sighed. "My kids are home".

Feels good to be loved like that, even when they drive me crazy. Family, you know?