pushing20

maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -arthur miller

8.31.2005

onnnnnnnnnne.


Yesterday I woke up early to meet Nanno and Crazybrains at our favorite diner, a 24-hour joint that we have been frequenting for close to ten years now. It was CB's sendoff breakfast before she headed back to Ohio for her junior year. One last time before our company of three went our seperate ways, we sat down and ate greasy eggs and perfectly toasted muffins and burnt home fries and steaming cups of coffee. All served by the increasingly crazy Manny, whose age seems to have a direct relationship with the likelihood that he will say something strange in the course of serving refilling our cups.

Since CB left a few days before me, it didn't quite feel real to say goodbye to her. I hugged her and gave slipped her annual going away present into her carry-on bag (always a book-- something for her to read as she tears up in the cab on the way to the airport. This year? Green Eggs and Ham. A classic.) But like I said, it didn't feel like a real goodbye. And then a few hours later I was sitting on the couch in a happily bored kind of way and it was the kind of moment during which I almost always call CB to come sit and watch TV with me, or meet for iced coffee or a walk.

Onnnnnnnnnnne.

That's the sound of me dialing the first speed dial on my phone. My direct line to CB. I think right then it hit me: summer's over. I hung up quickly, before her machine picked up.

So I leave for school tomorrow, moving in on Friday morning. Am I excited? Of course, for all kinds of reasons. But I'm also totally bummed because I know there will be a moment in the next few months when I'm watching Sex and the City at school and during an establishing shot of the City I'll get teary and wish that right at that moment I could be on a blanket in Central Park with Nanno and CB, a huge spread from Eli's and the Sunday Times all around us. It's just the way things go, when your best friends are a thousand miles away.

Until then? Onnnnnnnnnne.

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