maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -arthur miller


My Charlie

Something things happened this week that made me think of a scene in one of my favorite movies, High Fidelity. In the scene, John Cusack's character Rob wants to find his ex-girlfriend Charlie's phone number, and is shocked to find her right there in the phone book. His reaction to finding her just like any other normal person in the city:
 Charlie's in the fucking phone book.
She has come to assume such an
importance, I feel she should be
living on Mars. She's an
extraterrestrial, a ghost, a myth,
not a person with an answering
machine, in the phone book...
The way Rob feels about Charlie is sort of how I felt when I found an old friend on facebook the other day. Facebook, for those who aren't in college, is a huge timewaster for students across this great nation. It's basically friendster for 18 to 22-year-olds. Anyway, I was just browsing around lists of friends' friends, and here I came across L.

My mouth literally dropped open, right here in front of my computer.

We spent summers together when we were younger, and while it may seem trivial, I consider her to be one of those people who really had a hand in shaping who I grew up to be. And for some reason, when we lost touch five-ish ago, I guess she just got suspended in my memory the way I knew her. If she crossed my mind from time to time, it was the nine-year-old L who was my first friend at sleepaway camp, or the fourteen-year-old who late at night sometimes woke up hysterically sad, and would make me cross the bunk to sit with her until she fell back asleep. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of expressing it, but we were very close. We climbed mountains together, literally as well as the other way, if we're gonna get all metaphorical about it. I don't really climb mountains much anymore. Either kind.

And then we drifted apart, as fifteen-year-old girls who don't live in the same city and don't go to sleepaway camp anymore tend to do. So L stayed suspended in my head, and as I turned seventeen and eighteen and nineteen she just stayed back there.

Until I found her on facebook. And like Rob finding Charlie, I couldn't believe it. She should be on another planet by now, not on facebook, like every other college kid. There she was, with a profile and a picture that looked just like the girl I used to know so well, but with much better hair and a drink in her hand.

There are some people that you're just sure have ceased to exist, you know? And there they are, right when you least expect it.


  • At 4/21/2005 11:49 PM, Blogger mquest said…

    Did you attempt to make contact?

  • At 4/22/2005 1:00 AM, Blogger bex said…

    well mquest, I "friended" her (added her to my friend list, which she confirmed). So I made a completely wimpy move to reach out, but now I can see her profile and she can see mine.

    Wussy? Sure. But I did it.

  • At 4/22/2005 11:32 PM, Blogger mquest said…

    It is a start. It is a strange world. I meet people that I have not spoken to in years at the oddest moments. Perhaps you will rekindle your friendship.

  • At 4/26/2005 12:34 PM, Blogger Stacey said…

    Man, I had a similar moment last week ... browsing through the online alumni community from my university (during a particularly boring moment of my day). At any rate, I found a guy I used to hang out with a freakin' lot and thought, "hey, I really should make a stab at seeing what he's up to these days," so I emailed him a short message.

    That was last week. No email back. My pride is hurt. Let her get in touch with you - there's nothing worse than being blown off via email.

  • At 10/05/2005 11:39 PM, Blogger Joshy said…

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  • At 10/06/2005 7:01 PM, Blogger jordan said…

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