maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -arthur miller


Coming Fall 2005: Spawn of Spears

Have you been to Britney Spears' offical website? If not, go right now. NOW.

You can stop searching, because this is hands-down the best site EVER. I originally linked to it from someone's blog entry about La Spears' pregnancy. I thought I'd give you a little guided tour of the highlights.

The site opens up with this really weird drawing of a girl who is SO not britney holding the moon or something. After you click on her, you get to the main page, which is an "I'm a Slave 4 You"-era Britney, and a bunch of bubbles offering the latest news from Spears Land.

Of course, the big news today is that she's knocked up. Yep, Britney's officially got a bun in the oven. Ostensibly the fault of super-fugly Kevin Federline, this child is bound to be the trashiest of the trash. Here's the official announcement, in Britney's "very own" words:

"Dear Fans,
The time has come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Britney and Kevin"

PHEW. So glad Britney and Kevin are letting us know that all is well. I was worried.

The rest of the site is equally priceless. Don't miss the "Dog's Crib Updates", where you will find three pictures of little Bit-Bit's room. ROOM. "Isn't the chandelier adorable?" Britney asks us. Uhh, sure. But not as adorable as the chandalier in MY dog's room.

The "Love B: Stream of Consciousness" section includes missives entitled "Britney on Kabbalah" and "Giving Thanks to Mom". Classics, both.

I'm a little overwhelmed by all of this. So Britney and fugly, fugly, Kevin: I salute you and I think your shameless publicist deserves a raise.


  • At 4/13/2005 1:29 PM, Blogger Cindy said…

    Brittney is going to be on hard times when Kevin divorces her in a year and takes half her money.

    I hope he buys something other than sweatpants and trucker hats with that money.

    Who cares. :)

  • At 4/15/2005 2:02 AM, Blogger Rhoda IV said…

    I believe that all this Britney stuff is the sign of the end times. Britney and Kevin are both so damn trashy and this baby is going to be Paris Hilton to the 100th power. I've started a prayer circle to cause a miscarriage. It's really too bad Britney has so much money, because they'd really look at home in one of the fabulously stylish rusted out aluminum tin can trailers from the 50's, they could be the most up and coming couple in the dump.

  • At 4/15/2005 9:38 AM, Anonymous Toryssa said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 4/15/2005 10:03 AM, Blogger ..::Meems::.. said…

    Britney is all washed up at 23. Such a shame.

    I'm with Cindy. Kevin is gonna leave her when she has that kid so he can get child support and alimony.

    He's already cheating on her but she cheated on Justin so I think she's getting what she deserves.


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