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maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -arthur miller

2.28.2005

Oscars 2005: First Impressions

The Academy Awards clocked in at 3:06 or so this year. Too damn short, if you ask me. I like the old-fashioned Oscar ceremony with a running time around four hours. It was hugely bloated, with montage after montage and long acceptance speech by a nobody after long acceptance speech by a nobody. A lovely program to watch while concentrating on the extended shots of people's dresses, with lots of time for calls to grandmothers and friends with strong opinions on everything.

So.

The Good:
-Kate Winslet's dress, hair, and general existance. Nice job.
-The Johnny Carson montage. I swear I didn't tear up at all...maybe.
-Yo Yo Ma. Lovely.
-Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech about his Grandmother, and talking to her in his dreams "I can't wait to go to sleep tonight, because we have a lot to talk about". And he brought his daughter to the Oscars! Classy.
-Julia Roberts' HUGE baby boobs. Motherhood is workin' for you. Here's the conversation that went on in the room when she walked onstage:
The Dish: I don't think Julia Roberts has been out since she had her twins!
bex: Uhhhh, I think she brought the twins with her, [Dish].


The Bad:
- Presenting awards in the middle of the audience. Why doesn't Gil Cates just stand up and say "Hey, non-famous people, noone really cares about you anyway. We'll let you know later if you won. If we remember, what with all the fancy parties for us FAMOUS people going on tonight. Suckas!"
- Beyonce's black eyeshadow, among other things. It was like the eyeblack that baseball players wear, but on her eyelids with sparkles. eeeee.

The Inexcusable:
-Spike Lee's (shudder) FEZ. 'Nuff said.
-Antonio Banderas' hair. Long greasy do's are very Nirvana-circa-1993. Not good, Antonio. Like your singing.
- Was Dustin Hoffman drunk when he presented the Best Picture award? Afterwards Crazybrains called his appearance "painful to watch". Yeah. Not good.

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